The Artic Air; Mexico here I come!

Boy... I can hardly wait to land in Mexico - exactly one week from now. Or should I say, I will have my first beachy cocktail in my hand EXACTLY one week from now!?! lol

As is the rest of the Midwest, and East coast - we are hit with frigid arctic temperatures that have reached a high of -8 today, and overnight lows of -30 w/out windchill. Ugh. At least it's been sunny and blue skies - but come on.... it's too damn cold.

I've been sidelined all week with a lovely ear infection that I've sadly neglected since the in-law Christmas back in December. This serves me right... I should have caved in and gone to the doctor. But, I have a strangely high tolerance of pain, therefore, by the time it hurt in the smallest way, it was already way too far gone to heal quickly. 'eh... whatever. The only bummer is the antibiotics are sun sensitive, and that has put a serious damper on my pre-tanning for Mexico.

So.... this lilly white (casper?) irish gal will just have to slather on 45 spf. 45? WTF? The lowest I go is 30 -- and that's only for the first 3 days..... UGH. I won't be winning the "tannest" competition this year. Bummer, I thought I had it wrapped up! NOT.

Mexico.........

Our annual escape from reality. One full week with my sister and our mother's first cousin (sisters godmother). Each year, we spend months selecting the best all-inclusive resorts that meet our very basic needs. First: Where can we get the best tan? Second: At least one swim-up bar - preferably multiples.... Third: Most bars and restaurants. Fourth: Flight times. I kid you not! These are our criteria!

So, we've been planning and dreaming for months now. The suntan oils have been purchased... the hats found. The flip flops cleaned. The swimsuits tried on, or should I say "pry-ed on"? I am all set. Just need to pack!

We are returning to a place where my sister and I have been to twice before, and deemed it "perfect" for the sun sluts (a name we coined for the three of us). Two swim up bars, seven restaurants, and the best dang beach for catching rays, waves, and "local scenery" (ahem). The pools are pristine and the resort is friendly. Oh did I mention that I always gain ten pounds too? Yup... I gorge on endless chips, salsa and fresh guacamole - and that's just the poolside snack bar. Let's not forget the breakfast buffets and full scale lunches, and gourmet dinners. It's impossible to make "healthy choices" when you're offered the world on a plate. Dinners are a full 6 courses! Yummmmm

Our biggest decisions that face us daily are: what time to have the first cocktail, which cocktail, and what time do we want to start getting ready for dinner? We have no problem getting up at 5 am to waddle down to the beach to get/save the "good chairs/tables/umbrella located right at the junction of the beach steps/pool area. We do take turns with this daily! We are towel kleptos too. We begin our journey with the appropriate amount but we try to **ahem** "borrow" as many as we can. They all get returned at the end, so please don't worry about me getting caught for lifting towels ha ha. After the morning "save" trip, we crash for a few hours to get up in time for breakfast. We're on the beach by 9:30 every day.

We also have this wonderful "thing" between us that we all share equally in. We LOVE to name people. It is quite similar to what I do in Vegas with the people watching, although, I have company. The first year, we had "yellow pants", "Al", and "Dicky". lol Yellow pants was a gentleman who donned ghastly yellow pants, and enjoyed dancing with his wife. He thought "he was the bomb" and loved to show off! He also had this horrible habit of kicking out his leg and shaking it (imagine a dog) with each twist and turn. This of course, had us all laughing our tushies off. Thus, yellow pants was born! Then came Al..... he was from York, England - and had stereotypical "english" teeth. Not that that was all that bad, but worse, he was a puppy dog. He loved the women and would talk your ear off for hours if you'd let him. He thought he was resort event planner too. We spent many of hours dodging Al. His wife was a quiet little mouse of a thing -- up until karaoke night and several shots of tequila in her. That was quite the show! lol And then.... Dicky........ (sigh, sigh). He was named dicky... well... because... ahem... he was drop dead gorgeous in every way possible, and wore these ultra tight man shorts. And dang if he wasn't just as sweet as he was good looking too! As much as I would have loved to hate his wife, she was also sweet as could be. Poop. So, Dicky, if you're out there... could you please come to Puerto Vallarta next week? ha ha.

Then.... the last time my sister and I were at THIS resort, we found "Gloria". Again, another "Englander"... but this one decided that a itsy bitsy teeny tiny string bikini was haute couture. No biggie -- except "Gloria" weighed in around 350 - 400 lbs. God love her, she didn't care! And for some reason we wanted to place ourselves as close to her as possible. Sad, but true! Alas, we also cannot forget about "The Russians"... we finally beat the russians! lol It was a huge group of middle europeans (possibly russian?) that somehow beat us to the punch with saving the "best chairs" daily. We finally got up at 4 am and beat the poor chair guy who had been paid off handsomely for saving 10 loungers, 10 chairs and 3 umbrellas. The russians were not pleased at all!

So... this year... I wonder what characters await us? These characters no doubt will be blogged about! It seems shallow, admittedly, but it keeps us from repeating stories with each passing cocktail!

So begins the ticker..... less than one week to go............

Go ahead... hate me!