Kindle....it's killing me, but husband loves it!

The addiction continues.......

It's been a few weeks (or has it been two?) since I've plugged in the Kindle for the first time. It is now taken over my entire life! How so, do you ask? Let me share the ways:

First, it's the second thing I do in the mornings -- after getting my husbands clothes ironed, breakfast made, lunch/snacks made, and his to-go coffee made-to-go. Some mornings I pretty much mentally push him out the door so that I can dive in to the kindle. I've become totally ensconced in the ability to multi-task. Hold phone while talking to Kate (on her way in to work), make the foods mentioned above, AND drink my coffee at the same time. Once all of this is done, I can dive in.

Second, I fire off a few chapters of the latest book BEFORE even checking the computer. OMG.... what's happening to me?

Third - I have spent so much time sitting in the same position that I have thrown my hip/back out and my chiropractor today admonished me to the naughty chair. oops. He said "no sitting" in that one spot any more. If I HAVE TO (um... does he not "get it”??) sit in one spot for a long time then I MUST get up and walk around. Clearly he has no clue what he's talking about. Once I start in for the day, it's over.

One positive thing that has happened because of this addiction is that Mike is now greeted at the door with some extremely suggestive order. That was the first week of the Kindle. Somehow I downloaded some rather, ahem, filthy erotic, XXX-rated, could-be-considered pornographic novels. Honest.... I didn't KNOW they were! But do you think I could "not" read them once I got "into" them? No way, Jose (or Dylan, or Tyler, or Dick).

Imagine my total embarrassment when I found out that the voicemail I left him at the office was overheard due to the invention of speaker phones. Crap. Double crap and holy crap all rolled into one. This voicemail? Yeah well... it was telling him all the things that he could "look forward to" once he got home....... oops!

So.....once those books took hold -- yeah well -- no one heard from me for days/week.

I put myself on a kindle time-out. Self-imposed. Ouch. I had withdrawals -- the shakes, the racing thoughts of "what am I doing"? lol That lasted a day.

Jumping forward to today....... I've taken myself off of the timeout -- but given myself boundaries. First: I must finish at LEAST one household task per day before reading. Second: I will only read for a half-hour per sitting. Third: Only 2 downloads per week.... and finally: NO MORE EROTIC romance novels.

DH will just have to "deal". lol

He became so worried about my new found behaviors that he was concerned I would attack the poor Orkin guy. Or run after the UPS truck howling. Yes.... he was thinking his stay-at-home wife would become a cougar. Of course, I had to explain to him that "cougar" was not the correct term. He thought it meant a 40-something horny woman preying on her husband. Nope.... he was instructed as to the correct meaning of the word, and reassured that I have no interest in preying on young "things". lol

What did I download this week? The latest biographies from Marie Osmond and Melissa Gilbert (Little house on the Prairie fame). Nice, sweet, and innocent reading material.

I have been hosed down figuratively speaking.

lol