The Beast of Burden -- aka -- Jethro Bodine

Ahhhh yes... it IS that time of year again.  That wonderful season of joy, wonderment, and the child-like innocence of all those you encounter, right? Not in this household!

First,  I must add that our marriage is excellent -- strong -- endured many trials and tribulations and come out stronger than before.  This has been proven time and time again.   This time of year, however, is our biggest "challenge" to that wonderful marriage. 

Why?

Our annual Christmas Tree fight.  You know the one I'm talking about -- as I am pretty sure every couple has them, right?!?  A guaranteed fight.  Sometimes over the way the tree is put on top of the car.  Other years the way we carry it in.  Of course the "hold the tree stump while I saw off the bottom" fight... not to be out-done by the worst of all worst ones... "putting it into the stand STRAIGHT doozy.  And that's just the beginning.  Tree sap all over hands, clothes and hair.  Branches poking, scratching and blinding you.... and many of fingers pinched.  All these are typically met with unending amounts of curse words, snipes, and downright anger. 

And then...... the smallest sentence with the biggest bite.  What is it?  My four favorite words --  I told you so. 

This year is one colossal " I told you so "

Due to the annual fight, we decided it was time to dump the fresh tree idea and buy an artificial.  I tried the week after Christmas last year to no avail.  They were gone.   Mike suggested we start looking in September -- really?  I mean, REALLY!  The store laughed at me, and told me that they would be up a week or two before Halloween (and they weren't kidding) .  So we drove up to Oshkosh and went to Stein Gardens and Gifts (I love singing their song btw!), and "browsed".  I love making Mike "browse" as he DESPISES it.  He wants to be in and out fast (expecting at least ONE vulgar comment!) of any store.   This day was no different. 

He was shocked.  Sticker shock anyone?!?!  lol   We noticed several lovely trees, all within "normal" size ranges.  All perfectly pretty trees that would make life sooooo much simpler.  But noooooooooooo............ Mike had to like the huge honker in the corner.  The BEAST that was 12.5 ft. tall.  I tried desperately to explain to him yes, it would technically fit in our family room, however, IF we could put it up I'd have to buy a lot more ornaments, and that it would be difficult at best to assemble.  Most likely needing a new ladder, assistance, etc.  He was done for the day and he was "done" shopping.  P.S.  I think he wanted to get home fast to watch the Badgers! 

Upon further thought that evening, Mike informed me that we should buy the tree.  In fact, go tomorrow and pick it up to ensure the sale price.  Ugh.  Luckily I was able to call and do an over-the-phone sale transaction, and could pick it up a few days later. 

First clue that it was going to be difficult?  It took three burly college?? aged kids to get it into my SUV.  Duh...... first clue.  Second one was when I tried to get it out of said vehicle by myself.  But I did. 

That damn tree that was supposed to save us time and money?  Not so much.  Want to meet this damn Beast of Burden(s)?  Or as my sister, Kate, has dubbed it "The Jethro Bodine" tree.  Why Jethro?  Its huge and bulky, and a total clumsy oaf. 

Remember those words..... I told you so? Well.... I said them a few times this past week.



Here he is............

From our house to yours?  I can read the Holiday cards now....

 

The Miracle Workers
 
The "I told you so" was in full bloom for three days this week.  The Miracle Workers shown above are our fabulous florist/ designers that created our stairway masterpieces a few years back.  They were the first call I made once Jethro was purchased.  Their company, Personal Touch has done quite a bit of work for us over the years.  It took all three of us adults to get the beast up.  I had nightmares that Robert would walk in, see the tree in the boxes and run away screaming.  I wouldn't have blamed him one bit!  But he stayed.  How we hoisted the 100 pound second section of this tree up God only knows.  But, he won't be doing it again!  lol 
 
The actual decorating occurred yesterday and took the three of us four hours to do.  Was it fun?  Not unless you enjoy hanging from 10 ft ladders.  All I kept thinking was "thank goodness Mike is at work".... lol.  Remember those tree fights of past years? 
 
Petty children fights. 
 
This one (had he been home) would have tested even the Saints in Heaven! 
 
It's up... it's glorious... and all is well.  We will "deal" with how to take it down next month!  However, I could be sold on the idea of keeping it up and decorate for other holidays. 
 
Yes...in the future, Mike might just listen to me and not have to endure MY favorite words....
I told you so.............